Medical Health Encyclopedia

Temper tantrums

Remember that children imitate behavior. You can also try gentle distraction to activities that they enjoy or try making a funny face. If you are not at home during a tantrum, try to carry your child to a quiet place like the car or a rest room, keeping him or her safe until the tantrum has ended.

Other methods to try to prevent tantrums include:

• Use an upbeat tone when asking your child to do something. Make it sound like an invitation, NOT an order. For example, "if you put your mittens and hat on, we'll be able to go out to your play group."
• Make rules count. Don't battle over unimportant things like which shoes your child wears or whether he or she sits in the high-chair or booster seat. Safety is what matters, such as not touching a hot stove, keeping the car seat buckled, not playing in the street, etc. As the American Academy of Pediatrics experts put it, "while [your toddler or preschooler] will be saying 'no' to everything..., you should be saying 'no' only the few times a day when it is absolutely necessary."
• Offer choices whenever possible. For example, let your child pick what clothes to wear, stories to read, etc. A child who feels independent in many areas will be more likely to follow rules when it is a must. DO NOT offer a choice if one doesn't truly exist.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that you call your pediatrician if:

• Tantrums get worse after age 4.
• Your child injures him or herself or others or destroys property during tantrums.
• Your child holds his or her breath during tantrums, especially if he or she faints.
• Your child also has nightmares, reversal of toilet training, headaches, stomachaches, refuses to eat or go to bed, anxiety, or excessive clinginess to parents.

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