Medical Health Encyclopedia

Adolescent development

Teasing an adolescent child about physical changes is inappropriate, because it may cause self-consciousness and embarrassment.

Parents need to remember that the adolescent's interest in body changes and sexual topics is natural, normal development and does not necessarily indicate movement into sexual activity.

Parents must take care not to label emerging instinct and behaviors as wrong, "sick", or immoral. Adolescents may experiment with or consider a wide range of sexual orientations or behaviors prior to feeling comfortable with their own sexual identity.

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A re-emergence of the Oedipal complex (a child's attraction to the parent of the opposite sex) is common during adolescent years. Healthy parents deal with this by acknowledging the physical changes and attractiveness of the child -- and taking pride in the youth's growth into maturity -- without crossing appropriate parent-child relationship boundaries.

It is normal for the parent to find the adolescent attractive, particularly as the teen often looks very similar to appearance of the other (same-sex) parent at an earlier age. This attraction may cause the parent to feel awkward, but care should be taken by the parent not to create disconnection, which may potentially make the adolescent feel responsible. It is inappropriate for a parent's attraction to a child to be anything more than an attraction as a parent. Attraction that crosses the parent-child boundaries may lead to inappropriately intimate behavior with the adolescent, which is known as incest.

The teenager's quest for independence is normal development and need not be looked upon by the parent as rejection or a loss of control. To be of most benefit to the growing adolescent, a parent needs to be a constant and consistent figure, available as a sounding board for the youth's ideas without dominating or overtaking the emerging, independent identity of the young person.