Behavioral Management

Behavioral techniques for managing the child with ADHD are not intuitive for most parents and teachers. To learn them, caregivers may need help from qualified health care professionals or from ADHD support groups. At first, the idea of changing the behavior of a highly energetic, obstinate child is daunting. It is futile and damaging to try to force an ADHD child to be like most children. It is possible, however, to limit destructive behavior and to instill a sense of self-worth that will help overcome negativity toward life, which is one of the great dangers of the disorder.

Behavioral Techniques at Home

Bringing up an ADHD child, like bringing up any child, is a process. No single point is ever reached where the parent can sit back and say, "That's it. My child is now OK, and I don't have to do anything more." The child's self worth will evolve with an increasing ability to step back and consider the consequences of an action and then to control that action before taking it. But this does not happen overnight. A growing ADHD child is different from other children in very specific ways and he or she presents challenges at every age.

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Setting Priorities for the Parent. Parents must first establish their own levels of tolerance. Some parents are easygoing and can accept a wide range of behaviors, while others cannot. To help a child achieve self-discipline requires empathy, patience, affection, energy, and toughness. Some tips to help the parent are as follows:

• Parents should prepare a list giving priority to those behaviors they think are the most negative, such as fighting with other children or refusing to get up in the morning. The least negative behaviors on the bottom of the list should be ignored temporarily or even permanently (e.g., refusing to wear anything but red T-shirts).
• Certain odd behaviors that are not hurtful to the child or to others may be an indication of creative or humorous attempts to adapt (e.g., making up silly songs or drawing violent pictures). These should be accepted as part of the child's unique and positive development, even if they seem peculiar to the parent.
• It is important to keep in mind that no one is a saint. Loving parents who occasionally lose their tempers will not damage their children forever. In fact, non-abusive open disapproval or dismay is far less destructive to both parent and child than harboring resentment beneath a false calm.